A couple years ago for my parent’s 25th anniversary, I said in a speech for my parent’s 25th anniversary that if my mother and father’s love were a person, it would be galavanting around the United States in a VW van. Recently, as my own love has begun to age and grow as if it were a child, I have come back this idea. What if the thing we are building between each other takes on a life of its own? What if my love were a person?
I’m so quick to think of myself in relationships. What I need, what I want. How something affects me. Sometimes I think of the other person, as a separate entity. Their needs vs. my needs. It’s easy to believe that we are all trapped in a giant tug-o-war with every person we care about. That our love is a rope we use to tie to other people. But it’s possible that our love is less like a rope and more like a chord. An embryonic chord. Maybe what we grow between us is a child, not of our flesh and blood but of the ways we care for each other. Could we recognize this child as something separate from, but dependent on, us? Would we offer our own relationships citizenship?